Сектор газа — Суд

— All rise! The court is in session. The accused is citizen Klinskikh Yuri Nikolaevich, born in sixty-four, under Article 104 of the RSFSR Criminal Code. Citizen Klinskikh, your final statement.

— Citizens judges, citizens jurors, this is how it was:

I had a girlfriend, I loved her, We couldn't live without each other, I was with her a long time. Together we didn't sleep for a year. "You're lying!" Damn me if I am! I held out as long as I could for a very long time. But once I talked her into lying down with me, I had an awesome time with a young spliff. But in the middle of the night the girl sinned on the sly, I clobbered her for that, in short.

I had a girlfriend, I loved her, She farted in bed — I killed her. I had a girlfriend, I loved her, She farted in bed — I killed her.

It's a real shame, of course — she was a great broad, But why did she have to take such a huge dump that evening? I almost suffocated, my mind went dark, I quickly pulled off my socks and struck at random. Ah, my unwashed, stiff socks, They made the chick's skull burst into pieces. Believe me, judges, I really didn't want that, That time I myself shit my pants from fear very badly.

I had a girlfriend, I loved her, She farted in bed — I killed her. I had a girlfriend, I loved her, She farted in bed — I killed her.

Yes, I'm not hiding my guilt, I was at fault, And she wasn't guilty — her ass was guilty. Her very loud asshole let her down, And a sock let me down — what a bummer!

I had a girlfriend, I loved her, She farted in bed — I killed her. I had a girlfriend, I loved her, She farted in bed — I killed her.